ஒரே ஒரு லட்ச்யம்....

I remember the very first year when i went to sabhari malai as a kanni sami.everything that i saw and experienced there was heavenly and divine..those rough tracks leading to the temple,the 48 kilometers journey...it was never ending.so tough that at one point of time i even thought i would never make it up there..maybe i was not meant to see swami ayappan at all.the worst part of it was once u start u cant turn back! as the routes are naturally like that.its meant for climbing up but if u try going back down,u may juz end up falling of some cliff and who noes even your remain wont be found.thats how dangerous the journey is,no joke..one will definately think of all his bad deeds in life while travelling up there..it somehow makes u repent and reform..ayyan will make u promise that u will never do it again and all that u would want at that moment is to see his dharisanam even if its gonna be the last thing u would see in life! well i had my fare share of repenting and regret. i even thought shouldn't have gone up there in the first place as me being an astmatic have a very very tough time climbing those mountains...
not one two but three...azhutha malai, kari malai neeli malai and finally u reach sabhari malai.along the way i realized that i was not able to go anyfurther without taking a dose of my inhaler every 5 mins..if im not wrong i finished two cannisters of it. which could have lasted me for a gd two months!but then my guruswami mokandass sami who was helping me told me to keep my medication away and call out for ayyan.only he can bring u up...u have come this far having faith only on him henceforth u are his resposibility! he will never forsake you! juz call out for him. saying that guruswami held me up and started chanting "yetrividappa thookividappa" "paatha balamthaa thega balamthaa". i juz chanted along with him although i was breathless and was only able to say it within me..within the next 4 hours i was at the top of neeli malai and this song that was playing in the temple which was another 2 km away...a beautiful number by kj yesudas...

Ore Oru Lakshyam Sabarimamala
Ore Oru Moham Divya Darsanam
Ore Oru Margam Pathinettam Padi
Ore Oru Manthram Saranamayyappa
Saranamayyappa Swami Saranamayyappa

Ore Oru Lakshyam Sabarimamala
Ore Oru Moham Divya Darsanam
Ore Oru Margam Pathinettam Padi
Ore Oru Manthram Saranamayyappa
Saranamayyappa Swami Saranamayyappa
Saranamayyappa Swami Saranamayyappa

Orumayotukooti Ozhuki Vannirunnu
Charana Pankajangal Paniyuvan Varunnu
Orumayotukooti Ozhuki Vannirunnu
Charana Pankajangal Paniyuvan Varunnu
Oruvapussu Njangalkkorumanassu Njnagalkkoru Vachassu Njalkkorutharam Vicharam
Oruvapussu Njangalkkorumanassu Njnagalkkoru Vachassu Njalkkorutharam Vicharam
Akhilarum Varunnu Ponsaranam Thedi
Akhilarum Varunnu Ponsaranam Thedi
Hariharathmaja Nee Saranamayyappa
Saranamayyappa Swami Saranamayyappa

Ore Oru Lakshyam Sabarimamala
Ore Oru Moham Divya Darsanam
Ore Oru Margam Pathinettam Padi
Ore Oru Manthram Saranamayyappa
Saranamayyappa Swami Saranamayyappa

Vanathalam Virakkum Valiya Sabdadhara
Surapatham Nadumgum Saranasabdadhara
Vanathalam Virakkum Valiya Sabdadhara
Surapatham Nadumgum Saranasabdadhara
Atavikal Kadannoo Malakalum Kadannoo
Paramapavanam Poonkavanam Kadannoo
Atavikal Kadannoo Malakalum Kadannoo
Paramapavanam Poonkavanam Kadannoo
Varikayayi Njangal Arikilayi Njangal
Varikayayi Njangal Arikilayi Njangal
Hariharathmaja Nee Saranamayyappa
Saranamayyappa Swami Saranamayyappa

Ore Oru Lakshyam Sabarimamala
Ore Oru Moham Divya Darsanam
Ore Oru Margam Pathinettam Padi
Ore Oru Manthram Saranamayyappa
Saranamayyappa Swami Saranamayyappa

Saranamayyappa Swami Saranamayyappa

those word...it was magical.i fixed my mind to it.although i never fully understood malayaalam, 70 percent of it was understandable as its simmilar to tamil.i told myself i will only go back after seeing ayyan or else id rather die here.but the next thing i knew was the rest of the saamimaargal were before me..they went up and were waiting for us..cheering me on as all of them knew i had trouble during the journey due to my asthma..we continued the next 2km walk togetherand the next thing i knew, i was infront of the golden pathinettaam padi! it was unbelivable as these very 18 holy steps are belived to be self formed by ayyan's baanam.we went up and what i saw up in the sannithaanam juz made me cry like a baby.in that room surrounded by gold and many lit lamps was my ayyan ayappan seated like a three year old toddler.so much of life within him and that cute little eyes of his...whatever i wanted to pray for i forgot totally and all i could do was to juz admire his beauty...from that day till today ayyan has blessed me with 12 years of his glorious darisanam.although i didnt go to sabari malai the last three years due to unforseen reasons,i observed my fast and offered my irumudi kaanikkai here in singapore at sri vairavimada kaliamman temple ayappa sannidhanam.this year fasting will commence on the 16th of november. my 14th year of observing the mandala viratham(48days)...hope to make it to sabari this year to see my ayyan as i miss him soo dearly..cant wait. its not going to be easy climbing those tracks again after three years of gap and furthermore i think i have put on more weight but with faith on him and his full blessings im sure i will make it..one thing is for sure! even the most fittest man on earth will fail without belive and faith but one who has the utmost faith in him and surrenders to him with a heart of a child will be blessed with a safe journey and his divine dharisanam.swami ayyappan will be with his devotees always and blessthem with everything in life..human lifes are full of ups and downs, definately not a bed of roses but with constant thoughts of him and a quick prayer in mids of hardships, everything will definately land in place..we hear of miracles,ayyan performs it his devotees life all the time...i have seem many alonmg the years of my life..he has proven that he exists to some i know, why even to me in a few cases...but all these are only to be felt by you not to be said...my "ore oru lakshyam" in life...to see ayyan at sabhari as long as there is strength in my body and to surrender myself at his feet and serve him till the end of my days!
SWAAMIYE SHARANAM AYAPPA!
OM SHAKTHI!